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"In my heart of hearts, I knew I was lucky to still be here, and although I would never be the ‘old me’, I had a ‘new me’ to CREATE! (What an adventure!)"
Taking Responsibility
Taking Responsibility
Often when we experience trauma, we can become, understandably, reactive and withdrawn. Deep wounds are created from our experiences, be they related to our body, our mind, our heart and/or soul. We know that grief is an important part of the healing process, and allowing the emotions (however uncomfortable) to come up to be processed, is fundamental in transitioning through to the other side of grief. But what if we get stuck in it?
In my stroke experience, initially, I rallied my strength, put on a brave face, and soldiered on through rehab, wanting to know just how ‘bad’ I was going to end up, so I could get on with my new way of being and doing. As I progressed and it became clear that I was going to be living with life-impacting changes and limitations, I fell into a deep depression. I grieved the loss of the ‘old me’. My world became one of anger, frustration, hopelessness and, quite frankly, I revelled in the ‘victimness’ of it all. Yes…. I had a valid reason for this…. But did I want to live there?
My rehab program focussed on retraining my brain so my body could be as functional as possible. But I found my spirit low, my heart sad, and knew that my healing journey required more than just getting functional again. In my heart of hearts, I knew I was lucky to still be here, and although I would never be the ‘old me’, I had a ‘new me’ to CREATE! (What an adventure!) Part of this creation process was stepping up and taking full responsibility for who I was, how I had chosen to live up to that moment, and what I needed to do and heal going forward. Not just stroke-related healing, but the healing of trauma wounds, many of which I have been carrying since childhood. This ‘new me’ is here to love and support fellow trauma survivors, with my programs and services, and my own healing is instrumental in this journey.
Taking responsibility for my growth and healing has been one of the most powerful steps in the creation of this ‘new me’ and quite frankly…. I think she rocks!
What might taking responsibility for your healing look like to you?
"Today I structure my day AROUND what I know keeps me grounded and connected with self."
Feeling Alive
Feeling Alive
In my journey of self reconnection, it has taken some time to discover (and rediscover!) the things that bring me joy and truly make me feel happy to be alive. Once identified, then I struggled to actually find the time to DO them. Our lives can be crazy busy with the many roles we have...be it with chores, work, parenting, friendships, rehab, growth & learning opportunities... the list goes on!
One thing I identified early on in my recovery journey....all of these commitments, that I prioritised over ME, made up my experience of feeling like I was just EXISTING rather than LIVING my life. Yes, they needed a place on my priority list...but did they have to take FIRST place?
Today I structure my day AROUND what I know keeps me grounded and connected with self. My morning ritual consists of meditation, gratitude expression, moving my body, and listening to uplifting, soul-grabbing music. I also schedule in some joy activities throughout my week...these might be as simple as a walk in nature, drawing, quality time with someone spesh, or singing to my cat whilst strumming my purple guitar!
If you think that you can't 'fit' joy into your day, I urge you to rethink this unhelpful thought and 'make' the time. Set your alarm to wake up earlier, grab your calendar and schedule in some activities you know put a smile on your dial, and create your own morning ritual that has you greet each day grounded and connected to YOU.
"A chance to take ALL I have learnt in this incredibly challenging journey and make it MEAN something."
New Beginnings
New Beginnings
Have you ever experienced a life-altering event, where you had to say 'Goodbye"? Goodbye to a loved one? Goodbye to an opportunity? Or even Goodbye to an old life?
Whenever we experience loss, grief is often the very next visitor. The level of grief is directly related to the level of attachment we had to what we lost in the first place. This grief is completely normal and needs to be expressed in order for us to move forward in our healing journey. But we don't need to live there.
8 years ago I said a reluctant Goodbye to my old normal. It was painful, frustrating, disheartening, and devastating at times. Until.... I decided that dwelling in this was not helping me in my rehabilitation journey.
I started to challenge myself with reflective questions. "If I am still here for a reason, what might that be?" "Am I honouring this second chance by mulling in the grief of all I have lost?" "What if..... this was a brand new chance to create a whole new life for myself?" "A chance to shed all of the habits, patterns & ideas that were no longer serving me. (Nor anyone else for that matter!)" "A chance to take ALL I have learnt in this incredibly challenging journey and make it MEAN something."
What if....
"For those of us on a healing journey from trauma, medical conditions, and internal wounds, what might unexpressed emotions, like grief, do to our bodies?"
Grief Expressed
Grief Expressed
Do you express your grief?
In a world where we are told as little humans to 'don't cry' and we are encouraged to believe that 'anger is wrong', it is so common for us as adults to take this patterning with us as we grow. But how helpful is this?
All of us have experienced both loss and grief. Loss of a loved one, a job, material things, our old life... The strength of that grief is directly correlated to the level of attachment we had to what was lost.
What if emotions are simply 'energy in motion'? Energy that we suppress by pushing down, rather than allowing it to move through and run its course before being released. For those of us on a healing journey from trauma, medical conditions, and internal wounds, what might unexpressed emotions, like grief, do to our bodies?
Expression is fundamental in our healing process. And, we can learn to do this in healthy ways.....
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